Beasley Boys: Angry Words

Well it finally happened. Yesterday while playing Jacob decided to throw a bucket at Liam's head. He seemed surprised when I took the bucket away, and placed it out of reach. He stood up and with hands on hips said, "I don't love you anymore." If he knew and understood the word "hate," I would imagine he would have chosen that word instead. Unfortunately for him, "hate" is a word I have made an effort not to use around him, for this distinct purpose. I knew one day he would want to say he hates me. I figured if he didn't have that terminology, he wouldn't be able to. Well, my three year old is smarter than me it seems. He is a manipulator, and knew just how to voice his opinions without the word "hate." I figured if he wasn't able to say he hates me, then I would never have to deal with it. Now I am faced with a dilemma. How do you handle it when a child, that you have spent every moment of their existence caring for, says they don't love you? Do you laugh at them? Do you simply ignore them? The first time this happened I got down on his level, and explained that he doesn't really mean it. I will love him no matter what. Blah, blah, blah. This has happened three times today. I can't have this conversation every time he says it. Is this just a phase? Will it go away? I am not phased by this, honest. I know he was simply frustrated with me. How do I get him to understand that though?

On a side note, he does understand it is wrong. Today, after yelling at me, spitting, and hitting (did he eat food coloring somewhere?) he finally laid down for a nap. {Yep, he was mad at me for making him sleep. I seriously cannot wait until he is a teenager and has been out late. He will be seeing me bright an early. I might go jump on his bed, or maybe just sing at the top of my lungs outside of his room. I'm not sure yet. I will let the Spirit move me. There will be payback my friends.} Of course I had to lay down with him. After I finally fell asleep, (ok, it was only 2 minutes in before I was out) he leaned over with a kiss and said "Momma, I'm sorry for saying stupid." Then a few minutes later another kiss and "I'm sorry I said I don't love you anymore. I love you Momma." I know he is trying to get a rise out of me, so for now, I guess I will ignore it.

In other news, we had an interesting day. J is learning the art of lying and the consequences of such. Yesterday while in timeout he told me he needed to go potty. We let him get up only for him to say he didn't need to go. Today he was in time out, and the same scenario played out. Only this time I did not let him get up. MISTAKE. I walked back to his room and before I opened the door, I knew he wasn't playing. Low and behold the child actually needed to go this time. Needless to say we had a conversation about the boy who cried wolf.

I am exhausted and it is only the second week of summer. I love my children. I have loved being home with them. I also like going to the bathroom by myself. Apparently that is a luxury I only have during the school year. I couldn't even take a shower this morning without both children banging (I kid you not) on my shower door. They were both screaming too. The second I stepped out of the shower, everyone was fine. Really guys? I can understand Liam suffering from separation anxiety, but Jacob has already been through that. I did not realize he would regress. I left yesterday morning to take Liam to an appointment. We have a chain up at the top of our door to make sure the boys cannot unlock it at unwanted times. Matthew had to hold J back, and chain the door. As I was backing out of the driveway, all I could see was his little hand poking out through the small opening the chain allows. He broke my heart, and I felt so guilty. I was only gone for two hours max. His Daddy was still home, but no, that wasn't good enough. He likes the whole fam.i.ly to be together.

Yesterday he had us all on the couch together to take a picture. Sammie was even up there, but she wasn't up for being photographed yesterday. In all seriousness, we have had so much fun this summer. We have been to a wedding. Our cousin came to spend a week with us. We have gone to Six Flags twice, White Water Park, Zoo Atlanta, the library, and had a mall play date. We have been busy little Beasleys. The down times are what make summer difficult. Those are the times J acts up the most. Plus, when I am tired, I am not as patient as I could be.

I'm pretty sure I carried everything to the car myself.

No matter what, I can honestly say I love my boys. I do my best to provide for them every day. We have fun times, and we have difficult times. Life is ebb and flow. The roller coaster analogy has been used many times, but since I am fresh off a trip from Six Flags, I'm going to use it. Some days I am just holding on for dear life, and others I put my hands up and let go. At the end of the ride, I hope my boys will look back and say, "man, that was awesome."